Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Well, the Mister and I have chosen June to start trying for a baby...I can do this.  Both lose the weight before, and actually have a kid/give birth (birth scares the bajeezes out of me).

The bad...I still haven't broken 200...damn you to myself.  I am right at 200.8-201.8 and getting really mad about it.  Maybe I need to get mad to actually do something about it.

The ugly...well, I'm having issues with my scars.  You can feel the amount of scar tissue under them, and they (all four) are raised.  It's so weird...not necessarily ugly, but very strange.

Things are well in our house, we've been crazy busy, but what would life be if it was easy as pie?  My classes started again, and so far it is going great!  I am really enjoying learning about social psychology, and I think if I don't go into teaching, I would love to go into social psychology research.

I have been maintaining my eating journal (which is not consistent for me), and that has been very helpful.  My next goal to add with that is instead of just writing everything (not only the good, but the crap I manage to fit in too), but to also add how I'm feeling or what's going on when I'm eating things that are not the best for me.

The Mister and I have noticed that when I focus on my food, I lose weight.  When I let loose of my sight on what I'm eating, then I gain a pound or two...and it takes longer to take off that pound or two than it does to put on.

All is well here.  I know keeping up with my journal hasn't been as consistent as I would like it to be, but I was really hoping I could put a number on here that was in the Hundreds and not the two-hundreds...oh well.

Next time!  This week I'll be out of town at a conference, and that scares me to tell you the truth.  Breakfast, lunch, and most dinners are hopefully we have some good options instead of all crap.  The Mister told me to hard boil some eggs and keep them in my hotel fridge, bring my oatmeal and  yogurt, so that way I know my breakfast will be taken care of.  Good thing is that I will have a car while I'm down there, so if they're serving crap, then I can go to the market one night after the meetings and get some things of my own.

- Until next time.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Happy New Year - and two weeks off of blogging

Happy New Year!  2012 is here, and I told the Mister it should be a good year for people to start resolutions, since Jan. 1st was on a Sunday.  I have few, very obtainable, resolutions.  The first is to mail out a birthday card to every family member, as well as anniversary cards.  I always keep a calendar of birthdays and anniversaries, so why not?  Another is to blog more, as I noticed blogging is the way I hold myself accountable for what I am/am not doing.  I need to blog at least once per week, but more would be acceptable.

My next grad school class starts on Monday, so I know I'll be on the computer maybe blogging will be a break from my studies...we'll see.

The last post I had was very negative, very very negative.  Over the last two weeks, I have not focused much on eating, yet have still watched my portions (still have that fear of vomiting).  Today I finally decided to weigh myself, and I weighed in at 201.8.  I was so surprised.  That is the closest I have been to breaking the 200's, and I really should take advantage of it.  The last time I weighed myself I was close to 209, so to be down that low was very surprising to me.

The Mister and I were talking last night, which is what sparked my weight curiosity, and he is offering a bet.  He wants to be $100 that I couldn't lose 30 pounds by  March.  I think it's his way of kind of encouraging me.  We used to go to the gym together, but we both realized we do better when we go solo to the gym.  So today as I was curious to see what my weight is, to see where I'd be in 30 pounds, am very tempted to take that bet.

Since I'm in school and working, I have to manage out my time, so as long as I add the gym and perhaps even scheduled eating times, I think I could make it work.  What's some advice to aid in the weight loss process?

I still don't feel too much difference with my lapband.  I've noticed since doing portion control (weighing and measuring out my portions) that I'm not has hungry as my eyes think that I am.

Another thing, I really want to have a baby this year (not sure if I've mentioned that), but I also really want to be at least in the 150' that puts me at about 50 pounds to lose.  Our goal is to start this summer, where I take out my IUD, but the sooner I can get down the sooner I'll take out my IUD.  That's a good and bad motivator.  Having a baby scares the crap out of me, but other days it makes me so happy and encouraged because I know I want a baby and to build our family.

Oh well.  Hopefully I'll be seeing you guys more frequently.

-Until next time.