Thursday, December 29, 2011

Almost the New Year.

I haven't been on here much, and most of it is due to the chaos of Christmas time.  Our Christmas was awesome, the Mister, Little Ms. and myself had an amazing Christmas.  Right before Christmas I went in for my second fill.

I had a new doctor.  It caught me so off guard, and I wasn't a big fan of him either.  I have been working with two doctors during my process, and he wasn't one of them.  He came in very assertive, and it made me kind of defensive.  His first question was what was I doing wrong because I wasn't losing weight how he thought I should be.  He then asked if I was taking all the food in, or if I continued with my bad habits that got me here in the first place.  I was so pissed off and completely defensive before I even got my chance to talk.  I did ask if he was going to be around that office (the one I go to since they have so many offices), and he said yes.  I am  not thrilled.

I know that I am not losing weight fast, and I am also fully aware that I am not losing 1-3 pounds per week like he would like me to (hell, I would like to as well!).  It was a very frustrating experience, and the Mister told me to suck it up because chances are, he's going to be my new doctor.  I'm not looking forward to that.  The Mister also encouraged me to take it as a competition.  I know that I have to see him again in 4 weeks, and so the Mister thinks it would be a good idea to work my butt off for 4 weeks and see what happens.  I know it's his way of encouraging me, but the doctor makes me want to not do shit.

Then, if I go that route, who am I hurting?  No one but myself.  Lame.

It's been hard to  focus on anything eating healthy/staying in shape related due to the holidays.  I've lost all of my focus, and just really don't give a crap anymore.  I just don't care. 

I went to go see my OB/GYN, the Mister and I would like to start having kids next summer, and I had to figure out my options with my IUD.  He said to keep it in until 1 month before, and is strongly encouraging me to take full advantage of my lapband, since he wants me to drop at least 50 pounds before trying to get pregnant.

I need to get motivated.  I need to find focus.  I need to stop eating candy (it seems like since I realized there are certain treats I can eat, I have excess!)...I just need to get back to wanting this because I no longer care either way; and that is not good.

Maybe I need to read a motivational book, or watch a movie about someone who transformed their life...those always seem to motivate me.  Hope your holiday went great, and Happy New Year to you all!

- Until next time.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Christmas is almost here!

I (as most people) have been crazy busy lately!

I love the Christmas season, it is filled with so much love and family seems to want to be around more, haha.  In the same turn, I do not like how much road rage and crazy shopping experiences this time of year brings out in people.  Oh well, can't win them all.

Things have been so well, and emotionally I am in a terrific place.  I have been spending some amazing time with family, and on top of that, I only have 3 presents left to buy for Christmas.  I'm so glad I didn't wait until the last minute like I usually do.  The Mister is having fun with it because he just started thinking of presents (we both have a HUGE family), and I told him we only needed 3, and he is all jazzed.

My eating and band have been doing well.  I haven't had any new issues or anything.  I started a new kickboxing thing, and boy it beats me up.  I've lost another pound and a half, which is good, but what's better is I'm noticing a shift in my body.  My weight is moving and toning up in different areas, which makes my clothes fit looser.  So even though I'm not dropping pounds, I'm still feeling good because I'm noticing something.

I'm glad that even though the Christmas season is here, I'm still doing well.  I go in for my next fill in one week, and my doctor really wants me to be in the 100's somewhere, so I have a week to drop about 2 pounds to be in the 190's.  The Mister told me to go strong this week and try to lose more to impress my doctor...but I probably won't.  I'm just happy to be in such a great state of mine, and that's all I want for Christmas this year =)

- Until next time.