Almost the New Year.

I haven't been on here much, and most of it is due to the chaos of Christmas time.  Our Christmas was awesome, the Mister, Little Ms. and myself had an amazing Christmas.  Right before Christmas I went in for my second fill.

I had a new doctor.  It caught me so off guard, and I wasn't a big fan of him either.  I have been working with two doctors during my process, and he wasn't one of them.  He came in very assertive, and it made me kind of defensive.  His first question was what was I doing wrong because I wasn't losing weight how he thought I should be.  He then asked if I was taking all the food in, or if I continued with my bad habits that got me here in the first place.  I was so pissed off and completely defensive before I even got my chance to talk.  I did ask if he was going to be around that office (the one I go to since they have so many offices), and he said yes.  I am  not thrilled.

I know that I am not losing weight fast, and I am also fully aware that I am not losing 1-3 pounds per week like he would like me to (hell, I would like to as well!).  It was a very frustrating experience, and the Mister told me to suck it up because chances are, he's going to be my new doctor.  I'm not looking forward to that.  The Mister also encouraged me to take it as a competition.  I know that I have to see him again in 4 weeks, and so the Mister thinks it would be a good idea to work my butt off for 4 weeks and see what happens.  I know it's his way of encouraging me, but the doctor makes me want to not do shit.

Then, if I go that route, who am I hurting?  No one but myself.  Lame.

It's been hard to  focus on anything eating healthy/staying in shape related due to the holidays.  I've lost all of my focus, and just really don't give a crap anymore.  I just don't care. 

I went to go see my OB/GYN, the Mister and I would like to start having kids next summer, and I had to figure out my options with my IUD.  He said to keep it in until 1 month before, and is strongly encouraging me to take full advantage of my lapband, since he wants me to drop at least 50 pounds before trying to get pregnant.

I need to get motivated.  I need to find focus.  I need to stop eating candy (it seems like since I realized there are certain treats I can eat, I have been...in excess!)...I just need to get back to wanting this because I no longer care either way; and that is not good.

Maybe I need to read a motivational book, or watch a movie about someone who transformed their life...those always seem to motivate me.  Hope your holiday went great, and Happy New Year to you all!

- Until next time.